Lousy weekend :(

I had insisted to bring Bryant out on Saturday although he just recovered from his fever and flu. He was super cranky at Sebas house due to insufficient sleep. I brought him into guestroom and tried to coax him to sleep but to no avail! He was throwing his tantrums and crying loudly! Everyone outside was worried but dare not say anything.

Deli came into the room and snatched away Bryant from me! Scolded me for not listening to him by insisting to bring him out. Bryant was crying non-stop and kept on leaning towards me but Deli refused to let me near him. I was close to tears! :( He warned me not to bring Bryant back to my mum's place on Sunday and we were to go home immediately. Suddenly Bryant vomited and I quickly snatched him back! Sebas drove us home and Bryant fell asleep in the car.

Both of us were quiet and ignored each other. MIL cooked us mee hoon soup for dinner. When we were having dinner, he asked me if I have understood his sentence. I stared blankly at my dinner and nodded my head and continued to eat.

He continued to tell me off! Asked me not to spread our home affairs to my good friends. If I am unhappy, I should say it out! Asked me not to act smart. Asked me is it I feel very proud by telling others. I could feel his stare but I chose to ignore and continued to eat. Not getting any reply from me, he stood up and left the kitchen angrily.

I was very upset and couldn't sleep at night. Alot of thoughts went thru' my mind.

"y arent i crying?? i got scolded le"
"do i feel proud tellin others? no im not, so y is he using this word on me? i need a venting out channel.. y i not allowed to do so?"
"am i acting smart? if im really smart, i wont marry him"
"am i happy?? no, im not.. im not me anymore"
"where's old shuping? i got no idea, she's lost"
"do i still love him? i dunno wat does love stands for now.. "
"wat does marriage stands for? to me: marriage stands for a couple to stay thru thick n thin, good n bad health"
"so does my marriage fulfils this criteria? i guess yes coz we went thru my bad health, so wat had happen?"
"will i be happy if im no longer in this marriage? maybe, at least i no need to face ppl i dun like"
"will bryant be happy? bryant will no longer be the same coz family is incomplete"
"shd i stay n persist on for bryant's sake? i really dunno.."
"so does he still loves me? maybe yes, maybe no, maybe he in love with other? he's waiting for me to initiate, i really dunno.. "
"does he really understand me?? sometimes yes, sometimes no, i really dunno.."
"y are there "dunno" answers?? I REALLY DUNNO!"

He was at his usual self yesterday. That's his usual way of handling matters. Pretend nothing has happen. Even he is in the wrong, he will also not apologise. I tried not to talk to him if possible. Answered him when he asked me questions.

The ice was broken when I watched the 9pm Channel U movie. It was saying something funny and I started to laugh for the first time yesterday. He looked at me and smiled "Very funny hor??"

Although we have started to talk to each other, I don't feel the same anymore.

Uncle Fat Fat House

Sebas and Carol invited us last Saturday, 27/10/07, to their house for steamboat as a thank-you dinner for helping them on their wedding day. I decided to bring Bryant along. But before going over to their house, we brought him to cut hair at Linda's place. Well, he has grown up and REFUSED to cut his hair. No choice, I have to coax him to sleep then can trim his hair.






As he did not have sufficient sleep, he was super cranky at Sebas house after I fed him his porridge! I had a hard time coaxing him to sleep. Deli was super angry with me and decided to go home halfway through the dinner. I was very upset. :(

Yes, is MY fault

I have passed my flu virus to Bryant. Brought him to PD last Tuesday evening. His lungs is cleared so was only given flu medicine.

The next day, FIL called me around 6pm and told me Bryant was running a temperature. I quickly rushed home and brought him to PD again. Lungs is still cleared but his temperature was very high, 38.7 deg! PD prescribed fever med and anti-biotics.

Brought him back for review on Thursday and his temperature had gone back to normal. PD said we can stop the fever med and only continued his anti-biotics for 7 days. But his nose is still abit blocked.

Is all mummy's fault. If only we sleep in separate room then I will not pass to you but I can't bear the thought of you not sleeping by my side. I am a SELFISH mummy! :(

Result OUT

Is NOT cancer. What a relief!

I have a ulcer in my mouth for 1 mouth. I went to seek GP advice. She said this is not a cold sore but she is worried it MIGHT be cancerous as it did not disappear for such a long time. Normal ulcer should disappear after 3 days. Therefore, with her advice, I went to seek specialist help in TTSH. The senior surgeon said this is retention cyst. Asked me not to worry so much. If the ulcer still did not disappear, I can come back to the clinic, and he'll surgically removed it for me. Minor operation.

Now I can sleep in peace!! :)

Sebas Wedding

Sebas held his customary wedding on 15/10/2007. We girls were asked to be his bride's "sisters" while the guys were the "brothers". Was a long and tiring day but everyone enjoyed themselves. :)

She is getting on my nerves!

I took leave on Tuesday to rest after a hectic day helping Sebas on Monday. Since I'm at home, I took care of Bryant needs. I don't see any problem at all!

BUT she is not making my task easy! As Bryant is being looked after by her from Monday to Friday, he tends to stick to her. Logical! No wrong! To me, in order to bridge the gap between us, I must make more effort to take care of his needs and have more bonding sessions.

I tried to feed him dinner and he saw her walking around the house and started to cry. She came out of her room and sat beside me and used toys to distract him from crying but Bryant still howls.

No choice. I decided to carry him to feed finish his dinner. She said she wants to take over but I rejected her offer and asked her if I can feed him. She actually said "CAN.. BUT HE DOES NOT WANT YOU AT ALL!!" and cried at the same time!

I was furious and carried Bryant to kitchen and finished feeding him in peace.

How can she said this type of thing to me!? Maybe I am OVER-REACTING.. But I still think she should not talk in this manner to me. Show no respect to me!

I hate her presence now. How I wish I can get out of that HELL soon!!

He can stand!

Got a feeling he is going to walk soon! ;p

Quote of the Day!

An Exercise a Day keeps the FATS at Bay! ;)

Deli Angry Again..

MIL called @ 8.30pm, reminded me not to be home late, reminded me what "shen" has said. I said "OK". She called again @ 9.30pm, "IYOH!! What time you want to come back!?!" Replied her "Now". Told Deli we should head home and he agreed. On our way back, he asked me what she said and I told him.

When we reached home, she was shouting at her top of voice at FIL. "Why I cannot call them??!! I looked after him from Mon to Fri le!!" By then, Bryant has woke up and started to cry and I quickly went back to our room. Deli closed the door and went to their room. Deli asked MIL what's the issue and MIL said FIL complained that MIL should not called and disturb us. Deli asked her why she called me. She said should not come home so late. Deli replied "He's my son and I decide what time he comes home!" MIL started to scream "Why shuping never tell you!!" Deli shouted "She did tell me!! Mon to Fri you looked after him and I don't care what you do. But weekend he's being look after by me so you don't bother us!!" She screamed again "I care about him!!!" Deli shouted "I don't care! Just don't disturb us!!" She screamed again "I know I cannot carry him during weekend, cannot call!" Deli replied "YOU better remember what you say!" and left their room. Outside became very quiet. Deli came back into our room, smiled at Bryant and went to bath.

At that point of time, I felt very sad. Our house is no longer peaceful since Bryant's arrival. I am not blaming Bryant. All of us love him very much and want the best for him but all of us have different methods. Suddenly, I really wish to become SAHM so that I can take care of him myself and reduce the conflicts. But one house cannot have two women to control the port. Unless we have our own house, else this idea won't work. :(

Loooonnnggg Day

We decided to bring Bryant to Tampines Ikea on Saturday. I have arranged to meet with Calyn, Venus and Kat. Went over to Calyn's house first. Peipei initiated to carry Bryant, and he started to cry. Think coz he seldom/never see her before thus such BIG REACTION. He never cry when Deli's relatives carry him. After having lunch at Calyn's house (my fav, KFC.. hehe!), we went to IKEA. Bryant was quite tired by then and soon fell asleep in his stroller. He slept for about 1 hour. The next destination was Courts. Deli was looking for his Winning Eleven (Xbox game) but he couldn't find it. After that, we went to Giant. By then was Bryant's dinnertime time. We went to foodcourt and I fed him his potato porridge. He finished EVERYTHING!! ;) Think must be very hungry. After his dinner, we went to shop awhile in Giant. He met a baby boy who's same age as him and he weighs whooping 12kg!! WOAHH! Bigger size than my darling. My darling LOST lioa! Heard from Deli that little baby kept touchin Bryant's shoe-sock, while Bryant kept touching his head..






We went back to J8 to meet Sebas and gang coz have helpers' meeting for Sebas wedding. Bryant was cranky again coz insuff sleep for the day. Wanted to go home immediately after dinner but Bryant fell asleep in his stroller. After our dinner, we went to Olio Dome for the meeting. Been such a long time since we last went. The place changed alot but the staff still the same. :)
We stayed till 9.30pm and we went home!

Couple Time

Deli and I met up for dinner and shopping after work today. He wanted to buy a shirt for Sebas wedding dinner but couldn't find any nice ones. Went to Raoul, but too expensive. Still got 1 more week to find. :) When we reached home ard 9.15pm, our darling had already slept. We were quite disappointed as we rushed home immediately after dinner, hoping to spend a few minutes with him before his night sleep. Haiz. Nvm, we still have tomorrow. :) Oh ya, I bought a food jar for Bryant. Tomorrow can use when we go ikea shopping! Hehe!

Girls' Outing

Met up with the girls last night for dinner and shopping. Marie told us Carol hope we can wear cobalt blue in the morning. Initially we thought this color will be very difficult to find so we decided on yellow color but when we reached Far East, we can see this color EVERYWHERE. I managed to get a simple blue dress from Spellbound. I only need to buy a pair of heels and I'm DONE! ;) Now must start to crack our brains.. How to sabo our good fren, Sebassss....

Wai Po's House

Brought him back to my mum's place on Sunday.

Blog Time...

Been busy with work from Monday till now. Finally finished my program changes and is now ready for UAT. Feel so tired..

Bryant has been feeling nauseous since last week when we fed him cereal for breakfast. Went to seek Kat's help. She suggested feeding him with baby biscuits or bread or oatmeal. Gave him baby biscuits with milk for breakfast yesterday morning and he likes it! :) Keep clapping hands! Hahaha!

Then today fed him bread with milk, and his nauseous symptoms came back again. -_-" He looks like having morning sickness. No choice, gave him his milk bottle.

Im really dunno what to feed him for breakfast lioa! Not sure whether he is a fussy eater or he is really sick of breakfast. :(